Mental health Archives ⋆

The Real Reasons You Procrastinate (And How to Fix It)

nmasipa — Tue, 23 Jun 2026 21:01:08 +0000

Do you ever sit down to tackle something important, only to find yourself reorganising your desk, scrolling your phone, or suddenly very interested in cleaning the kitchen? You’re not alone and more importantly, you’re not lazy. Procrastination is one of the most misunderstood behaviours. We beat ourselves up for it, promise to do better tomorrow, and then find ourselves right back where we started. But here’s the truth: the reason you procrastinate is rarely about time management. It’s almost always about emotions. In this post, we’re going to dig into the hidden reasons behind why you procrastinate and what you can actually do to break the cycle. What Is Procrastination, Really? Most people define procrastination as simply “putting things off.” But it goes much deeper than that. Procrastination is the act of delaying or avoiding a task despite knowing it will have negative consequences. Research in psychology consistently shows that procrastination is linked to difficulty managing negative emotions such as anxiety, self-doubt, boredom, or fear of failure. In other words, when a task makes us feel bad, our brain looks for something else or any distruction that makes us feel better in the moment. Many of us have a tendency to procrastinate, and no matter how often we beat ourselves up for waiting until the last minute to pack for a vacation, book a flight, or file our taxes, we keep doing it again and again. Sound familiar? If you’re ready to finally beat procrastination and get ahead of the game, keep on reading. The Hidden Reasons You Procrastinate 1. Fear of Failure This is one of the biggest culprits. When we’re afraid that our work won’t be good enough, it feels safer not to try at all. If you never finish (or start) the task, you can’t really fail, right? This type of thinking keeps many people stuck, especially high achievers and perfectionists who hold themselves to impossibly high standards. The fix: Remind yourself that done is better than perfect. Start small. A rough draft or imperfect first attempt is infinitely more useful than a flawless idea that lives only in your head. 2. Perfectionism Closely tied to fear of failure, perfectionism tells you that unless the conditions are exactly right or unless you have enough time, enough energy, the right mood, you can’t begin. Perfectionism isn’t a standard of excellence, it’s a form of self-protection. And it’s one of the most effective procrastination traps out there. The fix: Set a time limit for starting. Tell yourself you’ll work on it for just 10 minutes. Once you begin, momentum often takes over. 3. Feeling Overwhelmed When a task feels too big, too complex, or too undefined, the brain struggles to know where to begin. So, it doesn’t start. Overwhelm is often disguised as procrastination. One of the big reasons we procrastinate is that something feels overwhelming. There’s too much to do, so we choose to forget about it for a little while. It’s not a very productive coping mechanism. The fix: Break the task down into the smallest possible steps. Not a broad “write the report” but “open the document and write one sentence.” Tiny actions reduce overwhelm and make starting feel manageable. Instead of doing it all at once, pick one thing. Something small that you can do right now to move you in the right direction. This creates momentum and forces you to take action. You may also like: Helpful Tips to Overcome Deadline Stress 4. Lack of Motivation or Meaning If a task feels pointless or disconnected from your goals, your brain has little to no reason to prioritise it. Low motivation is a genuine barrier, not a character flaw. There’s a reason you’ve decided to do that thing you keep putting off. Think about why you want to get it done. Is it so you get your tax refund? So you can spend more time with family? So you can find the clothes you actually want to wear? The fix: Connect the task to something that matters to you. Ask yourself: Why does this actually need to get done? How will I feel when it’s complete? Find out your WHY. Write it down and then keep it front and centre. Look at it every day before you get ready for work. Identifying the “why” behind a task can shift your energy entirely. 5. Decision Fatigue Have you ever had a productive morning only to find yourself completely unable to make decisions by the afternoon? That’s decision fatigue in action. When your mental resources are depleted, your brain naturally resists taking on anything new and procrastination steps in. The fix: Tackle your most important or dreaded tasks first thing in the morning, before your mental energy is drained. Protect that time fiercely. 6. Fear of Success This one surprises people, but it’s very real. Sometimes we procrastinate because we’re afraid of what success might actually bring. More responsibility, higher expectations, changes in our relationships or identity. The fix: Gently explore what you might be afraid of on the other side of success. Journaling can be particularly helpful here. Name the fear, examine it, and decide whether it’s actually as threatening as it feels. 7. Poor Self-Compassion Here’s something that might surprise you: being harsh with yourself for procrastinating actually makes procrastination worse. Studies show that self-criticism increases negative emotions, which is precisely what triggers avoidance in the first place. Here’s the thing. There’s nothing you can do about the past except learn from it. Beating yourself up for not following the plan you made does you no good. Quite the opposite, actually. If you stress yourself out and engage in negative self-talk, you make it worse. Those feelings of anxiety will reinforce your habit of procrastinating the next time. The fix: Practise self-compassion. Acknowledge that you’re struggling without judgement, and gently redirect yourself back to the task. Treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend makes a real difference. The next time you find yourself procrastinating, tell yourself that it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world. Say it out loud and then promise yourself to try to do better. You’re working on mastering a new skill and changing a habit. That takes practice, time, and, of course, trying again and again. It’s part of the learning process. Forgive yourself for procrastinating so you can move on. You may also like: How to Balance a Busy Life Through Practising Self-Care How to Actually Stop Procrastinating Understanding why you procrastinate is the first step. You may feel frustrated at times about your lack of progress. It’s normal. If you can, tap into that frustration and use it to motivate you. Look at your mistakes. What caused you to procrastinate this time? Learn from it, and you will start to do better. Maybe there’s a big task, and you started strong, chipping away at it a little at a time. Then you missed a day, and another. That’s okay. Not great, but okay. You did well for a while. It’s good practice, and maybe this particular experience taught you that you can’t allow yourself to skip more than one day on an ongoing project. There’s always something new to learn whenever we fail at something or slip back into a bad habit. At the very least, we figure out that something isn’t working for us. Maybe you do better with three or fewer to-dos per day. Maybe you need twenty-five so there’s always something to check off. You won’t know until you try. Here are practical strategies to help you move forward: Start with the “two-minute rule” If something takes less than two minutes, do it immediately. Don’t give your brain a chance to defer it. It’s the easiest but also the most powerful. Just get started. That’s right, sometimes all you have to do is just get moving in the right direction. Do something. Do anything. Even if it’s something super small. You get over that initial hump and start to build some momentum. Use time-blocking Schedule specific blocks of time for your most important tasks and treat them like appointments you can’t cancel. Another hack that works like a charm is to set a timer. Your phone has one built in, as do most smart watches. Set it for fifteen or twenty minutes and chip away at a task you’ve been procrastinating on. This works just as well for decluttering your closet as it does for filling out those dreaded expense reports. If twenty minutes feels too long, start with ten. Again, the goal is to start and do something. Create accountability Tell someone what you’re going to do. A friend, a colleague, or even a journal. Accountability increases follow-through. Find someone else who’s either trying to be more productive or beat procrastination themselves. Check in with each other daily. Share what you want to accomplish and what you will get done today. Knowing you have to report to someone else makes you act and leaves no room to procrastinate. It’s also motivating to see the other person do the same. Try it. Reduce friction and destructions Make it easier to start. The process starts the night before. If you want to exercise in the morning, lay out your clothes the night before. If you need to write, open the document before you go to bed. Maybe you open your email, or worse, Facebook and get sucked into spending the next few hours on your computer. Or maybe a good friend calls and asks you to go shopping. Or you get an alert that your favourite TV show dropped on Netflix. It doesn’t matter what it is; the point is that there are always distractions that will try to lead you to procrastinate. If you let them. Celebrate small wins Every time you complete something, no matter how small. Acknowledge it. Positive reinforcement builds momentum. When you’re working on something long-term, like losing 10kg, for example, it can be tempting to procrastinate because it doesn’t seem like you’re making much progress. Instead, prove to yourself that you are getting closer and closer by tracking or measuring it. Make a chart, use a spreadsheet, keep a journal. Find a way to measure your progress and use it to motivate yourself to keep going. Old Habits Are Hard To Break Beating procrastination can be hard. We do well for a few days, but then old habits set in again, or we get frustrated by our lack of apparent progress. Nothing goes fast enough. If you face a small setback at this point, it may be enough to stop working on what you wanted to accomplish in the first place. Thankfully, there’s something you can do to greatly improve your chances of success. Make progress every single day! Plan For It It’s easy to make progress every day when you know exactly what you should be working on next. Make a plan and then decide what you will do each day of the week. Write it down in a planner and adjust daily as needed. In the morning, you can see at a glance what it is you should be doing. Then get to work on it first thing before the day gets away from you. I find it helpful to have my planner sitting right in front of me at my desk, keeping me on track. Don’t Break The Chain There’s something to be said about a chain or a streak. Record every day you don’t procrastinate on something. You can mark it on a monthly calendar, or create a chain of sticky notes, stickers, or even one of those paper chains you used to make in preschool. The goal is simple. Don’t break the chain. Once you have a few days under your belt, you’ll be motivated to go the extra mile and do that one thing you need to do to avoid breaking the streak. Check In With Yourself As you start to make progress...

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How to Balance a Busy Life Through Practising Self-Care

nmasipa — Mon, 17 Feb 2025 19:39:37 +0000

One of the most difficult challenges many people face when practising self-care is finding the time to do it. When you live a busy lifestyle, finding extra time to look after yourself and find the right life balance can seem almost impossible. So, how can you balance practising self-care with a busy lifestyle? This post offers some great tips you can follow. Self-care is often seen as a luxury, but did you know it can lead to a longer, happier life? Without self-care, you’re likely to end up feeling stressed, tired, and generally unhappy. Make the Time for Life Balance To ensure you can fit self-care into your busy routine, schedule it. If you’re like most people, you schedule everything else, so why not self-care? When you set a time to focus on yourself, you are more likely to stick to it. No matter how busy you think you are, there will always be time for self-care somewhere in your schedule. Establish a morning routine If you are struggling to find the best time of day to practice self-care, you might find it easier in the morning. Finding the right balance in life can be challenging if you have a hectic life, but doable. In the morning, you could get up just 30 minutes earlier, or 15 minutes to start with. Establishing a morning routine can be the perfect opportunity to practice self-care. As a parent, you could focus on self-care in the evenings when the kids have gone to bed if that works better and you don’t have the morning rush. It doesn’t have to take long to practice self-care so you should always be able to squeeze it in somewhere. Automate daily tasks All kinds of tools and gadgets can automate various aspects of our lives. If you are constantly busy, you’ll find automating certain tasks can be a game changer. A simple thing like speech-to-text takes so much time off having to type (I love it). For example, you could switch from going to the grocery store to ordering groceries online. If you have items you frequently purchase, these can be added to your favourites list, making it easier to add them to your order next time. Doing your grocery shopping online can free up a lot of free time during the week that can be used for self-care. You may also like: Why Self-Care Matters Start small to find your life balance You don’t have to start by completely overhauling your lifestyle. Instead, you can start small with self-care. Begin by taking just 10 minutes out of each day to focus on a self-care activity. Focus on developing one positive self-care habit at a time. Once you have mastered that, you can move on to the next task. By starting small, it makes it easier to fit self-care into your busy life. Many people mistakenly think they need to begin with at least 30 minutes a day. The truth is, however much time you can free up for self-care is enough. Once you get started, you’ll find it easier to start focusing more on self-care due to the benefits you experience. Overall, balancing practising self-care with a busy life isn’t easy. Remember, self-care is essential to your health and well-being. So, no matter how busy you are, you should always try and make time for self-care daily. Common Hurdles When Practising Self-Care When it comes to working on self-care, all of us have different blind spots. These are aspects of ourselves that we aren’t fully aware of. It could be personality traits, feelings, or actions. Awareness of the hurdles you need to get over is the first step in the right direction. These blind spots can hamper our self-care efforts of finding life balance. That is why it is so important to become fully aware of them. Here, we’ll look at some of the most common blind spots you may discover when working on self-care. You avoid conflict Many people hate conflict, but sometimes it is needed to resolve situations. If you tend to avoid conflict, you’ll often do or say things you don’t necessarily agree with. This is a common blind spot that can derail your self-care efforts. The trouble is when you give in to others just to avoid conflict, it reduces your credibility. You’ll also find you are frequently miserable due to not standing firm in your own beliefs and values and trying to please everyone. So, if your blind spot is avoiding conflict, it’s important to address it, set boundaries and be clear about what you want. Not letting toxic people go Do you have toxic people you just can’t seem to let go of? Whether it is a friend, partner, or family member, associating with toxic people is going to hurt your self-development. If you learn to let toxic people go, it’s going to significantly improve your life balance. You’ll be happier and much more able to make positive changes in your life. It’s hard to remain positive in life when you are surrounded by negativity. So, assess the relationships in your life and if there is a toxic person around you, work on distancing yourself and instead surround yourself with positive role models. You are continually late Frequently running late might not sound like a problematic hurdle in self-care. However, it could be negatively impacting various aspects of your life. When you are known for being late, it lowers your reliability. This can negatively impact your relationships, as well as lead to issues at work. In terms of self-care, this trait can make it harder to stick to certain changes you make. For example, you may find it more difficult to stick to a schedule you set yourself. Time management is important if you want to long-lasting and impactful change. Impatience If you tend to be an impatient person, you may find self-care more challenging. This is because you won’t necessarily see any results overnight. It takes time to adopt new habits and see the benefits of self-care. So, if you’re impatient, you might give up before you’ve experienced the benefits of your hard work. When you are impatient, you can get easily frustrated when you don’t see instant results. So, working on becoming more patient as you start your self-care journey is essential if you want to keep it up. As they say… patience is a virtue. These are some of the most common hurdles you’ll experience when working on self-care. Identifying them will help you reduce the challenges of letting your self-care slide and make you much more likely to succeed with any changes you make. You may also like: 15 Self-Care Tips Effects of Lack of Self-Care on Life Balance How a lack of self-care can lead to an unhappy life. Learn some of the signs to watch out for that you need more self-care in your life. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You’ll feel stressed and exhausted When you aren’t taking care of yourself, you’ll often feel stressed and exhausted. This in turn can lead to burnout and a feeling of resentment. For example, it could be that you are exhausted from taking care of everyone else’s needs. Over time, if you don’t factor in self-care, you could end up resenting your loved ones. When you are constantly exhausted and stressed out, it’s impossible to maintain a positive outlook. Self-care helps to combat stress and it also boosts your energy levels. Personal hygiene suffers A side effect of not following a self-care routine is that your hygiene could suffer. This is especially true for those experiencing depression. When you are depressed or low, self-care is the last thing on your mind. In severe cases, you could spend days in bed, failing to do even basic self-care tasks such as taking a shower or brushing your teeth. The trouble is, that failing to take care of yourself makes you feel even worse. So, maintaining self-care is crucial for your mental health and personal hygiene. You’ll turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms Another thing that tends to happen when you lack self-care, is you’ll seek unhealthy enjoyment. It could be overindulging in junk food because it makes you feel better. Or you could turn to alcohol or drugs to escape. When you start turning to unhealthy habits for comfort, it’s going to lead to additional issues. You’ll also feel unhappier, particularly if you drink in excess. Alcohol is a depressant which can leave you feeling a lot worse than you started. Weight gain Many people who don’t take care of themselves, experience some level of weight gain. The more weight you gain, the unhappier you are going to be. It can be difficult to lose weight, so focus on self-care to help you avoid this potential challenge. Healthy foods and exercise are good for your overall well-being. The feel-good hormones leave feeling lighter and in a better mood. You never feel good enough Self-care is something you do because you are already worth it. Therefore, if you fail to take care of yourself, you can feel like you are never good enough. As you are constantly tired and juggling life’s responsibilities, you may feel like you are a failure or don’t measure up to others. These are just some of the things that can happen when you don’t follow a self-care routine. The effects can be severe, causing you to lead an unhappy and unfulfilled life. So, if you’re looking to lead a happier life, now is the time to start focusing on your needs and making self-care a priority. Self-care is a deeper experience of taking care of yourself from the inside out. There are so many ways to nurture and care for yourself. You don’t need elaborate measures or to go all extravagant. Anything that brings you joy, a sense of calm and connection is a means of self-care. Replenish your reserves and fill up your cup. Take time and make the time. There is always something you can cut down or do without that doesn’t have the great benefits of self-care. Try it. You’ll love it. Love, Everyday Ntha Share the love!

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Analysis Paralysis: Stop Overthinking and Start Taking Action

nmasipa — Sun, 04 Feb 2024 19:12:58 +0000

Analysis paralysis is overthinking things that can lead to paralysing inaction and uncertainty. It leads to holding on to worry and magnifying a problem in our heads unnecessarily. Occasional worrying and relaying past moments or experiences is normal. However, overthinking can spiral out of control, leaving you with a destructive thought pattern that fills you with fear and the inability to move forward. Chronic overthinking starts when judgement, reason and problem-solving functions of the brain are channelled on the negative, which is often caused by some sort of trigger. Once triggered, the spiral into overthinking leads to one of two things: Constant worrying and ruminating can escalate feelings of depression and anxiety. The paralysing feeling of overthinking will affect your mental health and relationships. It can result in addictive behaviours, insomnia, panic attacks, low self-esteem and eating disorders. You may also like: 10 Ways to Quiet Down Anxiety Understanding why you overthink Let’s face it, we all go through times of intense stress and worry. It’s as easily frustrating not knowing why you’re constantly in overthinking mode as it is being stuck in the loop of analysis paralysis. Overthinking can be caused by obsessive behaviours, perfectionism or low self-doubt. Analysis paralysis is constantly overthinking decisions that need to be made and then eventually not taking action. It’s a paralyzing inability to take action and mulling over various scenarios but failing to decide on what action to take. Constant fixation on the past or future A lot of what we’re doing when we’re overthinking is worrying about past events or the uncertainty of the future. We’re caught in a world of ‘what ifs’ and speculation. This is why it’s crucial to get back into the here and now. Unreasonable fears What are you worried about most often? Is this a reasonable worry? Sometimes all we need to unwind is a quick reality check. Your overthinking might be leading you to overcatastrophise events. If you’re not sure if you see the situation clearly, this might be a good time to talk to someone else about what’s going on. Is getting a different perspective enlightening? Past trauma There are some things you’re not going to be able to change about what happened in the past. It is important to find ways to heal from trauma so that it doesn’t consume your daily life. Talk to a professional or seek some coaching or counselling to work through your trauma. Remind yourself that whatever happened is another piece of this part of your life. You will get through it. You’ll find it easier to think more clearly if you can release what is out of your control. Rigid thinking When we’re worried, we fall into the trap of thinking things are very black and white. Generally speaking, things are seldom as we imagine them to be. Take a deep breath and let the situation unfold as it will without trying to predict the future. Negative self-talk Sometimes we get in the habit of seeking out the negative, especially when it comes to ourselves. Could it be you’re worried about something which isn’t even true? Consider the words you use when talking to yourself. Negative thoughts will only lead to deeper hole of overthinking. If you’re using more negative than positive phrasing, start changing the dialogue to more positive statements. You may also like: Overcoming Self-Doubt with a Positive Outlook How to break the cycle of analysis paralysis The idea of unwinding at all in these circumstances can feel impossible. At the same time, it’s these bad days where we need to unwind more than ever. With this in mind, let’s take a look at several tips designed to help you unwind and break the cycle of analysis paralysis even when you’re worried. Mindfulness and Meditation Don’t fight your feelings. Allow yourself to feel and think through those moments. Then let it pass. Mindfulness and meditation can help you focus on where you are right now. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Don’t allow thoughts to intrude. Instead, allow yourself to drift, thinking about what you hear or smell. It doesn’t have to take long. Even a few minutes of mindfulness will help you to unwind significantly. Reframe your thoughts Ask yourself if your thoughts are a true reflection of reality. Are they doing you any good? To be decisive give yourself no more than three options. Plan for the unexpected and take action. Be accountable and know when you’re doing it so you can tune your thoughts to more positive ones. Self-awareness Be attentive to your thoughts and feelings. Pay attention to what triggers those emotions. You can further develop coping mechanisms to help you deal with future patterns of overthinking. Increasing your self-confidence will help you overcome self-doubt, worry and fear of things not going according to plan. Writing down your thought patterns Writing down your thought patterns will help you dump them out. Then you can address the thoughts that keep repeating themselves and you’ll start to work on balancing your mind. While these tips might not necessarily solve the crisis in your life, they’ll help you to put even difficult times into a better perspective, allowing you to at least take some time to breathe and figure out the next steps. Trust me, you’ve got this! You may also like: Growth Tips to overcome Limiting Beliefs 6 Key signs of analysis paralysis you shouldn’t ignore Have you ever considered you might be overthinking? While carefully considering a new idea can be an excellent thing, there comes a time when your ideas and thoughts need to be put to action. Sometimes, though, we stall ourselves by getting so involved in our thoughts, that we never act at all. At what point does serious planning become obsessive overthinking? Ask yourself these questions: How many times have you gone over this in your mind? Considering a new thought or question a few times is natural. If you’re thinking about this constantly over several hours or even days, you’re probably getting too caught up in your thoughts. How many times have you gone over that conversation? Overthinkers can’t let anything rest. If you find yourself revisiting past discussions to the point where you have every piece of dialogue memorized and even analyzed, you’re overthinking. If you often find yourself thiking about what you have said better over and over again you need to let go. Where are the grey areas? People who overthink tend to concentrate on absolutes – everything is either one way or the other, with no room for anything in between. There’s never any middle ground. You’re overthinking things if you can’t find the shades of grey. How important is what other people think? This goes back to the idea of repeating conversations in your head. Typically, we obsess over what the other person says because we’re worried about their opinion of us. If you’re concerned about how the world sees you, you’re already in trouble. The truth of the matter? At this point, you’re thinking about them, far more than they’re thinking about you. What is the motivation? If you’re spending a lot of time trying to figure out why people are doing something, you’re venturing into dangerous grounds. Unless you want to find out something positive (such as how they did something you want to emulate), you’re wasting your own time. What does it matter if they choose to do a sure thing? Unless it impacts you directly, don’t concern yourself too much about it. Is analysis paralysis giving you sleepless nights? If racing thoughts are keeping you up at night, you’re overthinking, plain, and simple. Bedtime is when you’re supposed to let go and allow yourself to rest. Whenever you allow yourself to be caught up in a spiral of worry and anxiety, you’re allowing your thoughts to take control of your day. Over time, your thoughts can take over your life, keeping you from the things you desire. When this happens, it’s time to take a solid step back so you can restore the appropriate balance once again. Let’s recap on reigning in on our throughts… Be aware to make small choices quickly. It’s good to think about your decisions but not until it comes to a point where it’s hindering you from taking a step forward. Don’t let fear of failure or not doing the right thing by taking the right decision paralyse you. And lastly listen to your gut feeling. Nobody knows you more than youreself, if something feels right and it aligns with you go with it. Focus your thinking and be kinder and loving to yourself. Love, Everyday Ntha Share the love

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Overcoming Self-Doubt with a Positive Outlook

nmasipa — Mon, 21 Feb 2022 10:23:08 +0000

Self-Doubt creeps in on even the best of us at times. However, you can overcome it with the necessary action and a positive outlook in life. No matter where you are in life right now, or how many mistakes you’ve made, opportunities you’ve missed, or what’s happened to you in life, you can overcome your self-doubt and start believing in yourself. It’s within your power to do it and change your life for the better. How can you overcome self-doubt and believe in yourself? Before we get into that, what is self-doubt? What Is Self-Doubt? The dictionary defines self-doubt as, “the lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities.” This is a very good definition, but it doesn’t fully demonstrate the problems caused by self-doubt and not believing in yourself. Ask yourself these questions: What are the dangers of self-doubt? How does self-doubt affect your life? Where does self-doubt come from? And most importantly, how do you overcome it? Everyone has different issues, reasons for their self-doubt, and problems in life. You’re a unique person and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Don’t beat yourself up about it. How Self-Doubt can Affect your life There are many dangers in hanging on to self-doubt. If you’re constantly in self-doubt, it’s important to understand the type of damage you’re doing to yourself. If it has affected your past and is affecting your present, it can devastate your future if you don’t deal with it. Here’s why. Self-Doubt Drains Motivation When you don’t trust yourself, fear gets in the way of life. This leads to a severe lack of motivation to do more than you have to just to get by. It can affect your entire life and your relations with others. Self-Doubt Leads to Procrastination Done is better than perfect. Perfectionism will get in the way of you doing or finishing anything. As a result, it will set you up for failure. No one is perfect and perfection is not necessary to thrive in this life. Self-Doubt Leads to Regret Missed opportunities always lead to regret. Regret, when left unresolved, can lead to chronic stress and anxiety. This will then create a cycle of more self-doubt which creates more regret and so on. Self-Doubt Keeps you Stuck When you have no faith in yourself, it’s hard to even think about self-improvement. You think you have too much to improve because you can’t do anything, and maybe you even think you can’t achieve even if you try. Self-Doubt Stifles Inspiration When you don’t believe in yourself, it’s hard to get inspired to do anything new or to create anything new. Ending the self-doubt will bring out the creativity you already have. As you can see and may have experienced yourself, self-doubt can be dangerous and these are all good reasons on their own to work toward overcoming self-doubt and learning to believe in yourself. You may also like: How to Overcome Anxiety Know Where Your Self-Doubt Originates Knowing where and how you developed self-doubt can help lead to conquering it. You can build self-esteem and confidence by getting to the bottom of how it happened. Whatever may have caused your self-doubt, you’ll be able to overcome it. It doesn’t matter if it’s something that developed over time or something you learned in childhood. You can work toward building your belief in yourself. Limiting Beliefs from Childhood Unfortunately, many people learn to put off their dreams and limit their ideas due to people in society who are also stuck in their own self-doubting lives and can’t envision anything different. This happens a lot in poverty-stricken communities where people can’t see beyond their own lives to the possibilities that are outside their world. When children have larger than life ideas, parents may thwart their ideas with the intent to protect them. But this is only due to their own lack of success and understanding of life. This rubs off on the kids. But, the exciting thing to remember, though, is that some people are able to see beyond their boundaries and envision the possibilities and then take the action to see it through. Past Experiences from Bad Relationships It’s possible that you allowed your past experiences and bad relationships to get into your head and create self-doubting experiences. It can be a relationship with your parents, friendships, partner, spouse, or even a child who is dragging you down and creating self-doubt in your life. These relationships are toxic. It may be time to let go of these relationships if their presence fills you with fear of voicing out your opinion or ideas. Toxic Work Environments and Experiences If you’ve ever had a job that turned into a bad experience, it can stunt you for a lifetime if you let it. Sadly, many people do. Some people allow criticism in the workplace to affect them so badly that they develop a fear of failure which causes them to not take risks. If a person can’t accept that even good people experience bad things, they can’t learn from their mistakes and realize that they can do better next time. Your Immediate Environment Where you are born makes a huge difference in how you view the world, where you fit in and, your potential in it. Sometimes people can’t seem to escape their life circumstances because they were born either in a place without a lot of opportunities or in poverty. While some people can’t escape the circumstances they were born into today, it doesn’t mean you can’t. It just means that due to lack of vision, most people only know what’s inside their own small part of the world. Established Patterns and Habits Often people experience self-doubt simply due to patterns they’ve established over time. Past experiences can lead people to habits of self-destruction. These repeated behaviours lead to thoughts of failure and accepting life as it is. However, this is something you can overcome by changing your patterns and habits. The process requires introspection to be able to see the truth about yourself, your choices, your relationships, and more about your life. Why you Should Believe in Yourself There are so many reasons you should believe in yourself. Once you start realizing that, believing in yourself becomes easier. The idea that if you don’t believe in yourself no one else will is very true. As harsh as it seems, it’s a fact that you’ll need to deal with in your quest to develop your new belief in yourself. You were born with everything you need to experience success in life. Here are some reasons that you should believe in yourself so that you can rid your life of self-doubt. Truth is, this is something that must come from within. Your success may look different from someone else’s success and that’s okay. You Deserve It You deserve to have a happy and successful life that you enjoy. To live an invigorating life, even if you are experiencing challenges that no one else can relate to, you can still overcome them and live a fulfilling life. The Good Relationships Take a look at the relationships that make you happy. Those where you are supported and you feel needed. They believe in you, and you believe in them. How Far You’ve Come You might not be where you want to be, but look at how far you’ve come. That means you’re doing something right. That’s a positive that you should focus on right now. Celebrate Past Wins If you’ve been successful at something, revel in that. Did you manage to get up this morning? That’s a win. Did you finish a task? That’s a win. If you need to get down to the very smallest win, that’s okay. You’re Good Enough Remember that you are good enough and deserve the life that you want to live. No one deserves it more than you do. In your uniqueness, you are worthy. The truth is if you look from a distance at your problems, how important are they really? If you’ve made some bad choices that have resulted in going through a rough patch emotionally, financially, or spiritually, that’s okay – this is how you grow in life. You grow in life through experiences. It is how you react to these struggles that make up who you are. You may also like: How to Practice Mindfulness How to Overcome Negative Thoughts Let’s look at how to overcome negative thoughts so that you can better deal with self-doubt. It is possible to train your mind to overcome and turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts or to at least stop the negative thoughts in their tracks. Change the Focus When you encounter a negative situation, try to immediately turn it into something positive by focusing on what you can learn from the situation. Even if all you learn is that you don’t want to do that again, that’s a positive thing. Ask Whether It’s Really That Bad Sometimes it’s easy to take something seriously when it shouldn’t be. Is it that much of a big deal if you pronounced a word wrong? Don’t hyper-focus on one mistake or one bad day. Replace Negativity in Your Life Whether it’s people, places, or things, it’s time to rid your life of negativity when you can. If you want to be more positive, find new friends, new activities, and things that make you happy and feel positive. Don’t Overthink Things Many people plagued with self-doubt tend to have trouble making decisions. Even if it’s just what to wear, what to eat, or what to buy. When you are making any decision, ask yourself whether this is going to matter any time from now. That way, you’ll be able to determine whether you need to spend more time on it or if you need to just make a decision to do it or not. Talk to Someone about your Self-Doubt Now, make sure the person you’re talking to is positive and doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself. This may be a professional, a life coach, or a friend – even someone from a support group. Stop Thinking about It Sometimes negative thoughts can ruin the experience you’re living. It’s better to try to shelve the negative thoughts during the experience and try to really live in the moment. Being in the present enables you to truly realize that things aren’t as bad as your mind is trying to tell you. When you look back on it, you will likely be able to pick out a lot more positives than negatives. Work Out your Self-Doubt Most of us have a lot of extra energy that needs to be burned off. Whenever you start experiencing negative thoughts, instead of wallowing in them, get some exercise. Go for a walk, go for a run, jump rope, go for a swim – anything that you can do that you like doing is a good thing to do instead of thinking negatively. Realize When It’s Really Fear Sometimes negativity will creep in when you’re doing something a little bit uncomfortable or pushing your comfort zone a bit. “Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” George Addair Remind yourself that when you are experiencing negative thoughts associated with fear, you can overcome it. Tips for Dealing with Self-Doubt Now, let’s go over some important ways to deal with self-doubt when it happens. Feeling self-doubt is not the problem. Letting self-doubt control you, make your decisions for you, and rule your life is the problem. You’re Not Alone Everyone experiences self-doubt at times, you are not alone in your feelings. It’s how you react to it that matters. Keep a Journal One way to overcome self-doubt is to keep a journal to help remind yourself of accomplishments that you have experienced. You can talk about the self-doubt you felt and how you pushed through it. Be honest and open but try to focus on the positives of each situation and...

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How to Cope with Holiday Season Stress

nmasipa — Wed, 18 Nov 2020 12:11:42 +0000

The holiday season is a time to be merry for a lot of people. However, for many, the festive season can be one of the most stressful times of the year, if you don’t know how to manage it. It can be so stressful planning for the holidays, from gifts, activities to looking back at the year that was. Disclosure: Please note that this post may contain affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Most of the stress associated with the holiday season is due to pressure. There is so much pressure to live up to, parties and events to attend, and getting that perfect gift. Please take a moment to do this: Relax, Breathe and DO NOTHING for the next 5 minutes. Right Now! How did that feel? Whew! You might also like: 10 Ways to Quiet Down Anxiety This year has been filled with worry, fear, and uncertainty. As a result, we have had to adjust to a different norm. That alone makes the holidays worth celebrating. Or for most quite stressful or depressing. So, how do you deal with holiday stress? How do you prevent overwhelm and burnout? Take this Holiday Stress Quiz to find out if you’re holiday stressed out. 8 Great ways to Manage Holiday Stress Release the Pressure How you choose to celebrate the holidays should bring you joy and happiness. Take stock of the things that are pulling at you and weighing you down. Are your plans truly yours?Make sure that you’re not taking on other people’s plans and ideas that you neglect what truly matters to you. Do you have the means to do everything you’ve set out to do? The holidays aren’t all about splurging. You can still have a great time without breaking your bank balance. Are you creating a meaningful experience?Don’t celebrate just because everyone is doing it. There is so much to be grateful for that you can focus on. These may be hard questions to answer, but necessary to relieve the pressure you may be under. Set Boundaries It’s ok to say NO. You can’t do everything and be everywhere at the same time and still be sane. Not even Superman can! Help out where and when you can. As much as there’s so much going during this time, it’s also time to unwind, time to spend with family, connect, and have fun. If you can’t make it to a function, it’s ok. Don’t try and spread yourself thin to please everyone. People are more understanding than you think. If not, tough luckðŸ¤ Saying yes when you should and want to say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Boundaries are crucial for a healthy relationship with others. It limits expectations and will help you have control of your life. Have a Holiday Schedule Schedule and plan for the holiday season. I personally like to plan from late October right through to the 1st of January. Add birthdays, holidays, special days, work functions, weddings, festivals, etc. Put it down on your schedule so you can see exactly what days have events and if you’re available for all of them. Plan for your holiday shopping and meal preparations. Anything that needs time should be on your schedule. Planning reduces holiday stress. Be realistic with what you can do and where you can go. Don’t fill your schedule to the point where you don’t have a day to just relax and unwind. Give yourself room for changes and enough time to shuffle things around. Get your Free Holiday Planner Have a Budget Once you’ve done your planning. Set out a budget for all you want to do. Do you have enough funds for gifting, gatherings, outings, lunches, etc? Don’t let the frenzy of holiday shopping cause you to overspend or splurge. Have a list of what you need and take enough money for each shopping trip. It can be easy to get carried away with spending only to find yourself left with no money. Don’t take credit or loans just to cover the holiday expenditure. Instead, opt for homemade gifts, free fun activities and other means of celebrating that won’t leave you penniless or stressed over finances. Plan your Meals (Lunches) Plan your menus and grocery needs. Don’t let go of your healthy eating habits. The holidays are the perfect excuse for over-indulgence. This Weekly Meal Plan Cookbook is great for planning your meals. It’s recipes come with a grocery list for the week, substitutions and are easy to make for any day of the week. Whether you’re hosting or going out, try to keep to healthy foods and portions. Drink as much water as possible, get enough rest and some workouts too. Make Time for Yourself Don’t forget to take care of yourself while you’re seeing to everyone and everything around you. Try to incorporate the things you love into the festivities. Plan activities that you’ll enjoy together with your family or friends. Plan some time out in your schedule to nurture yourself. Read, write or take a walk. Do something that’s just for you. The stress from the holiday season can cause burn out if you’re not making time for self-care. Accept Change This year won’t be like other holidays. You need to accept that there are changes and certain restrictions to what you can do. If your loved ones can’t make it over try to have a virtual session and share pictures and videos. There might be certain holiday traditions that you may miss out on, try to make new ones. It might be challenging but it can still be celebratory. The holidays don’t have to be perfect, they just have to meaningful and bring joy. If you’re feeling down or sad, acknowledge that as well. You can’t pretend to be happy if you’re not just because it’s the holidays. Practice Gratitude While you might not be as cheery this holiday, there is still something to be grateful for. Have a gratitude session with yourself and one with your loved ones where you can share all that you’re thankful for. Gratitude is good for overall well-being. It helps bring a sense of purpose and fulfilment. Gratitude can reduce the effects of stress, depression and anxiety. You can start a gratitude journal to help you get started if you feel stuck. Be more kind and helpful to others and yourself. Gratitude is helpful in nurturing healthy relationships. Conclusion Don’t let the holiday buzz or blues get you down. When the holidays start being a drag and dreadful take these steps to prevent stress and overwhelm. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you can find joy and happiness during the holidays. Bring back the cheer to the holidays. Love, Everyday Ntha Share the love

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