Parenting Archives ⋆

How to Deal with Toddler Temper Tantrums in a Calm Way

nmasipa — Sat, 27 Feb 2021 21:41:26 +0000

Temper tantrums are a normal part of child development. It can be in the form of crying, screaming, throwing things/themselves, kicking, or a combination of all. The key is learning how to deal with them calmly. However frustrating it may be, it’s important to keep your cool. I have had to whoosah a couple of times because kids can try you. This is why I call the terrible twos ‘the try-me phase’. As any parent would know, life with a toddler is never without tantrums. But it’s also full of love, hugs, and kisses which make the terrible twos more bearable. Toddlers between the ages 1 – 4 aren’t yet able to control their emotions and behaviour or understand how to express themselves when they need or want something. A tantrum is an expression of that frustration. At times they may experience an uncontrollable burst of anger that they don’t understand or have the ability to cope with. You need to understand anger issues in your child and what is the cause vs a normal tantrum. It’s important to find the root of the issues instead of addressing the anger or outburst. Are they needing something, trying to express something, or is it a condition that needs to be addressed? What causes temper tantrums? As young children learn and become more independent, they try to do more things by themselves that they aren’t yet able to handle. This leads to frustration, which plays out in different ways and ranges from mild to outrageous. Temper tantrums are worse and happen more often when a child is hungry, tired, or sick. Below are some of the reason why children have tantrums: Trying to get attention to get their way Being hungry or tired (my girl can hardly fall asleep by herself without a fight) Want their space, but can’t get what they want Commuting from daycare to home (being a drop-off/pick-up mom is full of adventure) Being told no or having something taken away Not yet knowing the words to say how they feel or want Not understanding what you want them to do Are worried or upset Stress from school or home As parents, we need to help our children regulate and understand their feelings. One way in which kids learn is through mirroring. Kids do as you do. As a result, your actions and behaviour will carry more weight in how they behave. Be a good example so they have a frame of reference for how to act. When children get upset, parents should help them work through it and soothe their agitation, not inflame it. You may also like: 7 Ways to Communicate with your Kids How can you prevent temper tantrums? Temper tantrums can happen out of the blue, but you can be more prepared for them. Knowing when your child is more likely to have a tantrum can help you handle it better. An example is not letting your child become overtired or hungry. Some suggestions for preventing or keeping temper tantrums to a minimum include: Try to keep outings short or don’t skip or delay meals or nap time. Please don’t bribe your kids. It will backfire. Encourage them with something they’re allowed to do or have that they love instead. no one is perfect. Don’t expect your child to be perfect. Talk to your child about any changes to their routine to prevent frustration. Let your child know your rules and boundaries and stick to them. How to deal with a temper tantrum Identify the causeTake time to listen and identify the cause of your child’s anger. It may frustrating, but don’t lash out or get impatient with them. Address the reason for their anger and create a safe environment for them to freely open up. Isolating a younger child after an outburst may lead to feelings of abandonment as they don’t have the coping mechanisms to soothe themselves. Allow them spaceA time-out works best for older children. Allow them space to think about the situation and give them time to think about their actions. When addressing your child regarding their behaviour remain calm. Maintain a reassuring presence to diffuse the meltdown and be an example of how they should behave. Stay calm and listenIt can be hard to stay calm, but you need to acknowledge their feelings. It’s vital to respond to their anger and aggression calmly instead of with anger. Set the rules then give them choices. You want your child to know you love them without shaming them. Don’t label or compare your child as this will break their self-esteem. Calming techniques during a tantrum Teach your child calming techniques and practice with them. Breathing Don’t underestimate the power of long breaths. Your child may not fully understand but try and help them calm their breathing. This may be more for your own sanity than theirs but it helps. Level downCome down to your child’s level. Speak in a stern but low voice. This is where you lovingly state the boundaries and let them know the outcomes of their tantrum. Ignore the tantrumIt may be impossible to ignore a tantrum in public spaces, but sometimes kids just want to get a reaction. Ignoring the tantrum or stepping away can be the best solution, especially if the tantrum is not due to hunger, tiredness, or illness. Kids will push your buttons when they lash out. It’s important to gather yourself and not respond in anger. This can harm your child during their formative years and start a cycle of anger that continues into adulthood. You never want to lose your temper in front of your children. If you have unprocessed trauma from past experiences, you need to start your own healing process. Remember that your child’s sense of self is moulded through your actions and words. Remind yourself that your child is still learning and may not know all the rules before they break them, so set limits and boundaries. Don’t act out in anger. Find a quiet space where you can calm down before addressing the issue. Self-awareness is the first step in change. It will help channel self-control and set the tone for how you handle a tantrum. Take deep breathes to help calm you down. It’s essential to let your child know if you’re upset and let them know how an outburst made you feel. It helps understand the outcomes of their actions and will help them assume more responsibility for their actions as they grow up. You may also like: Overcoming Mom Guilt When is it time to seek help? While the occasional tantrum is normal, if your child often acts out by aggressively snapping or violent behaviour that is not fitting the situation, it may be time to seek help. Warning signs to look out for: Excessive aggression. While it’s normal for kids to kick, bite or hit, when you feel fearful or unsafe during a tantrum this may be due to an underlying problem. Sel-harm. If your child bangs their heads, scratches, or bites themselves almost every time they have a tantrum, it’s a red flag. Frequent tantrums. While tantrums are common, experiencing them daily or more than 10 times a week is cause for concern. Very long tantrums regularly may signal a problem. While 5 minutes may seem like a lifetime to any parent, it’s normal. Frequent 25 minutes or longer tantrums are not normal. The need for an external factor to calm down post a tantrum. Not being able to calm down without getting something can be concerning. When you start to feel like you can’t handle a tantrum and may hurt your child, you need to seek help. It’s important not to set aside how you feel. It’s ok to acknowledge how their behaviour affects you. Don’t pretend to be ok if you’re not. Be honest and let them know you’re feeling too angry to talk right now. You are not alone. All parents go through this. But it doesn’t have to get out of control. Take care of your wellbeing. It’s not selfish at all. You need to be a healthy present adult to be a good parent. I hope that this will help you get through the tantrums and meltdowns a little bit easier. And don’t forget, you’re doing a great job! Love, Everyday Ntha Share the love

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School Essentials to Help your Child have the Best Year

nmasipa — Sat, 06 Feb 2021 22:25:38 +0000

School is very different from what it was. We are all faced with a new normal of homeschooling and virtual learning. It’s important to have the right school supplies to make the school year a success for your child despite the challenges we may face. The school programme requires more planning and organization for both parents and children. Therefore, a routine along with the proper environment is vital. These school supplies are great to help your child grow in their education whether at home or school. Studying from home is not easy. There are a lot of distractions from Netflix, lack of motivation, your bed calling you, or just lack of focus. Either way, it can be hard. Lack of study space and tools can make it even harder. Here are the school supplies you absolutely need to make your child’s year great! Backpack Having a backpack is a great way to pack your kid’s school supplies in one place. This backpack will also come in very handy when schools reopen. It’s something great to look forward to. A new backpack for a new school year. A backpack is also better for your back than sling bags, as it distributes the weight evenly. A backpack can get heavy very quickly with books, stationery, lunch box, etc. So it needs to be durable but also comfortable. One with foam padded straps and a back panel ease the burden of carrying it. Everyone needs a good fitting backpack that allows for free movement. You may also like: Educational Toys for Kids’ Stimulation Backpack for Kindergarten The best backpack for preschoolers is a lightweight durable bag. At their age, they don’t carry a lot of books and supplies so a good fitting bag is great for the little ones. This Little Kid backpack is a great start to your kids’ schooling. It’s durable and spacious for all they need. Primary School Backpack This Unisex Backpack is great for school going kids. It’s durable, lightweight, and spacious. It’s also a comfortable bag with padded shoulder straps and back panelling that won’t strain your child’s back. Backpack for high School High schoolers need a sturdy and multipurpose bag. This backpack with a USB charging port is great for any occasion. It’s got a compartment for all their school supplies. This backpack has a lot of great features to be a favourite. Desk With the amount of work being done from home, your child will need a proper working space. Having a desk of their own is motivation to get through their activities and scheduled work. This Kids Study Desk and Chair Set is a great desk that will grow with your child. It’s got adjustable features, bookshelf space, drawers and a nice comfy chair. Having their own desk can improve their productivity and focus to succeed in tasks, assignments, and exams. It helps promote their independence and responsibility for keeping it neat and clean. This blog post from Lucy Reyes is a great read for finding the perfect desk for your child. Chair Every desk needs a chair. Not just any chair but a comfortable chair that will help avoid back pain, irritability and fidgeting from long periods of sitting. A good chair encourages movement because kids have an active lifestyle. A rigid chair may cause more harm than good for their flexibility. Therefore, it’s crucial to get a chair that allows them to sit in their preferred way, to promote healthy posture. Get a chair with multiple adjustments and back support. And also allows for movement and relaxation. You can learn how to sit in a healthy posture. The wrong chair can give rise to back pain, physical stress, and bad posture. Promote healthy posture and a sense of achievement by getting your child a comfortable chair. Desk organiser A neat and tidy desk is conducive to openness and enhances learning ability. This All in One Desk Organizer is great for keeping your desk organized and everything in its place. That’s why a desk organizer is a must for your child. It will create an order and ensure that you can find what you need where and when you need it. The desk organizer below is a great crafted environmentally friendly piece to give your desk a homely feel. Pencil case Nothing is more frustrating than looking for a pen in a bag full of stuff. A pencil case is the best nifty tool to help organize pens, pencils, and small stationery items. This pencil case is durable and multi-functional. It works great for home, school and work. Tablet We can’t run or hide away from technology. The world is becoming more digitalized by the day. Working on a tablet is convenient and easier. With the current situation, online learning has become a necessity. Getting a great tablet is a great way to continue learning from home and accessing learning material. It also helps with research and virtual lessons. Online study material means less printing and saving on paper. The Samsung Galaxy Tab A is a great all-purpose tablet for productivity and multimedia usage. It has enough storage for all your school files and entertainment. It also has a kid mode option for parental control on inappropriate content. You may also like: 7 Simple Ways to Master Productivity for Busy Moms Desk lamp For obvious reasons, a desk lamp is important for reading and studying. But most importantly is a desk lamp that’s designed for reading on the screen. Because we are on our screens a lot an ideal desk lamp is one designed for screen reading to protect the eyesight. Desk lamps are ideal for task lightening, reading, writing, studying, computer work and more. A good desk lamp should offer clear, bright light that’s easy to work under. Also, it should have a focused beam with minimal glare, adjustable design and multilevel brightness. File set As much as a lot of work is digital, there is still some form of paperwork that we will have. These Two-Tone Color File Folders are great to keep documents safe and organized. They have tabs help to find documents easier without having to go through piles of paper before you get the page you’re looking for and a lighter inner to help file correctly. School Calendar Having a calendar i’s a great way of keeping track of important dates for assignments, tasks and exams. It’s good to also have a schedule to section off time for school work and other tasks. A calendar is more important now than ever, with distance learning and homeschooling. Kids need structure. Create a timetable for them so they stay up to date with their work. Make time for breaks and lunch during the day. Face masks This will be the norm for a while. Whether at school or just going on about your day, face masks are a necessity. And the reality is, once schools reopen your child will need a face mask. Ensure you get a breathable, light material face mask that’s durable and comfortable as they will be wearing it for long periods at a time. You need to have a variety of masks to interchange them. Lunch bag A lunch bag is a great way to pack all your child’s snacks and lunch in a convenient way. It’s important to get a durable and insulated lunch bag to keep food fresh. Having a pre-packed lunch is great to moderate what your child eats and ensures that they have healthier lunch options. This lunch bag is great for school and outings. It’s durable, multifunctional and easy to carry as well. Fun Learning corner Studying in a communal space has negative impacts because other people are moving about and there are a lot of distractions. Studying from your own space allows you to focus and work through your tasks effectively. Having a dedicated study area and equipment will help keep your books and stationery neat in one place. Improves concentration, as they’re less likely to be studying in bed. Your child will have a better learning experience in a learning environment that is functional and flexible. You want to create a space that allows for productivity while limiting distractions. Learning is definitely different, but it doesn’t have to be hard. With the right tools and learning space, your child can have a great school year. I hope these essential school supplies will make homeschooling and distance learning easier for you and your kids. Love, Everyday Ntha Sharing is caring

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Children’s Toys that Promote Growth & Educational Stimulation

nmasipa — Sun, 04 Oct 2020 21:04:13 +0000

Children learn and develop differently. Most children’s toys have educational and developmental properties, believe it or not. Yes, even the dolls and action figures. It’s important to expose your child to various forms of play for a different stimulation and to promote gross and motor skills. Encourage playtime. Kids learn best when they’re having fun. The best part is that playtime can be learning time. Disclosure: Please note that this post may contain affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Why is Play Important Playtime for kids is important for developing life skills and growth. Puzzles, toys and games are great entertainment but also good for education. Physical Skills Motor skills are important for a child’s development. Playing with toys where you grab, touch, throw and feel will help your child’s eye-hand coordination. Social Skills Playing a group game helps kids learn how to share and to interact with other kids. It’s important for them to play with other kids so they can have teamwork, co-operation and dealing with challenges. Communication Skills Communication is a vital part of child development and will help them as they grow into adults. Reading and roleplay help develop language skills and broaden vocabulary. It helps to play and learn new words while you’re at it. Cognitive Skills Toys and games that require concentration and focus help children’s brain development and strengthen their cognitive skills. Puzzles and games are great for developing problem-solving skills and logical thinking. Baby Milestones Templates Sign up to get your FREE Baby Milestones templates and capture those special memories. You can unsubscribe anytime. For more details, review our Privacy Policy. Grab them NOW Thank you! You have successfully joined our subscriber list. Your templates are headed to your inbox. Children’s Toys by Age Babies 0 – 1 This stage of growth and development is crucial. Babies learn a lot in their first year and need a lot of nurturing. I have a blog post about baby milestones in the first year you can read HERE. RattlesRattles are great for strengthening hand muscles and make a fun sound for babes. This set of 10 has teethers and musical shaped toys full of bright colours. Your baby will love them. Floor mat toysThese are good for tummy time, fun learning, and kicking about. One with a mirror is magical for kids to see themselves and get familiar with faces. This one is a mini all-in-one. It has musical features, rattles, lights, and sound. CubesSqueaky soft blocks with shapes, numbers, letters, and animals are great for learning. These blocks are fun for bath time as well and will teach babies motor skills. Ring stackStacking rings are so much fun. They’re bright and good for eye-hand coordination. The rings are easy for the little one to grab and feel. Toddlers 2 – 3 Toddlers are more aware of their surroundings now. They have gained more coordination and gross motor skills for basic functions such as, picking up and throwing. BallThis bright coloured ball is great for outdoor play and exercise. You can add play to any party, at the beach or with friends at home. It’s a great way to give the kids some time from screen time. This Rainbow Ball is great for bouncing about, kicking and playing catch. ShapesShapes are fun to learn. Find objects around you that your little one can identify the shapes to. They will enjoy discovering shapes all around them. Role-playRole-play is important in learning. It teaches kids to interact with their surroundings and to learn language skills. Spark your child’s imagination and creativity with pretend play that mimics real-life situations. This doctor set is fun for learning about the body and healthy living. Pre-school Kids 4 – 6 BooksReading is a good way to develop brain function and engage curiosity in growing kinds. Storytime is also great to bond with your kids. Get fun books, rhymes and pic stories. You can also share stories from your childhood with them. This 25 Set Book is a great confidence builder for the beginner reader. Your child will enjoy the independence of reading by themselves and learning new words. PuzzlesKids will develop problem-solving skills and patience from putting a puzzle together. It also helps with identifying objects and shapes. Puzzles are great for memory and eye coordination. Bring those lessons to life with the 6 Set Puzzle for fun and engagement that lasts for hours. PlaydoughPlaydough is good for strengthening finger muscles which will help your child learn how to write. This Play-Doh Craft Table Set is perfect to spark creative ideas and creations your child will enjoy making. It comes packed with 8 tubs of doh, cutters, and a nice storage table. You may also like: Tips to Communicate better with your Kids Types of Children’s Toys Soft toys Babies love soft and plush toys, who doesn’t? Remember that big old snuggly Teddy? Yep. We learn how to be gentle and kind by playing with our soft toys. Give your children soft toys to nurture kindness. Moving toys Push and pull toys are good for helping children with stability and balance. Moving toys strengthen muscles needed for crawling, standing, and eventually walking. Books and charts Books and charts are great for learning new things. Reading is a great form of adventure. It’s great to have charts placed around for kids to see visuals of what they learn. Blocks Blocks are a way kids get to build things and see science at work. It’s good for motor skills, eye-hand coordination and analytical skills. They are a great way to stimulate creative problem solving and communication skills. Blocks are also great for teaching kids about structure and processes. Musical toys Musical toys help stimulate hearing and children to start making sounds. Your little one will enjoy making different sounds with these fun toys. Music is a creative outlet that your kids will enjoy. Wrapping Up There is a lot children learn from playing Like everything in life, balance is key. Make sure you focus on all areas of development and make play intentional. Educational elements of learning don’t have to be boring. Make learning fun with these children’s toys. Play with your kids while they learn. Have fun and enjoy your growing child. Pin it for Later Share your fun and educational playtime with your kids below. Love, Everyday Ntha Share the love

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The Busy Mom’s Guide to Overcoming Mom Guilt

nmasipa — Tue, 04 Aug 2020 13:44:39 +0000

Mom guilt is real, but it can be overcome. Motherhood is one of the most fulfilling jobs in the world. However, it is also one filled with overwhelm, guilt and all kinds of fears. I often wish there was a perfect motherhood book. There isn’t. Motherhood is a journey of mistakes, lessons and a lot of love and patience. No two mothers or children are the same. A baby changes everything. A lesson I learnt early on in my motherhood journey. It starts with pregnancy and is never-ending. As a mother, you will often be filled with doubt of whether you are doing a good job or giving your little one the best. There is NO PERFECT MOTHER! I just thought I should clear that up and get it out of the way. Once those feelings of inadequacy start creeping in, you find yourself asking all sorts of questions. Am I good enough? Will my baby turn out to be a good person? Am I cut out to be a mom? Those feelings and questions are normal. Shew! You just need a way to get out of the slump when it gets to you. Motherhood comes with a lot of responsibilities and can be especially daunting for first-time moms. All you want is the best for your child. Honestly, if you’re feeding them, clothing them, caring and giving them your time. You’re doing a great job. That’s all babies need. The rest grows on you. It’s not all doom and gloom. You don’t have to beat yourself up each time something goes wrong. That’s what makes it interesting. Motherhood is about learning You will learn to trust yourself more as your children grow. It’s all about learning as you go and grow through the lessons. Mothers working a full-time job may experience mom guilt more often than stay at home moms. Less time spent with the children does not mean you’re less of a mother or neglecting any responsibility. Make whatever time you get to spend with your child meaningful and cherish those moments. I used to feel guilty about missing my baby’s biggest milestones; teething, first steps and potty training her. It took a while for me to fully let go of being the perfect mother and embrace what was. It was a joy seeing her grow and reach those milestones. And when I got to see her it was as though it was the very first time. Kids have a subtle yet adorable way of reassuring you. I want to share some great reminders and tips you can use to overcome the mom guilt. It can rob you of being fully present in your children’s lives and making lasting memories with them. You might like: Productivity tips for the Busy Mom Great tips to overcome mom guilt Positive affirmations Positive affirmations are great for building your morale and self-confidence in your motherhood role. Remind yourself that you are great and amazing. You are enough. You are worthy. No one can be a better mom to your kids than you. Yes, You. Baby Milestones Templates Sign up to get your FREE Baby Milestones templates and capture those special memories. You can unsubscribe anytime. For more details, review our Privacy Policy. Grab them NOW Thank you! You have successfully joined our subscriber list. Your templates are headed to your inbox. You are doing a great job You may not always get it right and that’s ok. Its how you learn to get it right for you and your kids. Your love and care are enough. Those best mom in the world handmade cards mean a lot to your kids. Your kids may not always tell you, but they think you rock! Mom support It takes a village to raise a child. Having a strong support structure is invaluable. Having other moms for support can lighten your load, even if it’s just letting off some steam. A support group is great because it gives you a sense of belonging and you don’t feel so alone. It’s encouraging to know that you are not the only one going through the motions. You can learn and share great tips and remedies when needed. Talk with your kids Children are smarter than we think. They can sense when you’re not okay or when something is wrong. Trust them enough to let them know what’s going on in your life. Share your thoughts and feelings with them in an age-appropriate way. I share great ways to improve communication with your kids in this blog post. What goes on in your life affects them too. They will even try to cheer you up with some hugs and kisses. That always warms my heart and she’s only two. Ask for help You can only get what you need and want by asking. This is a hard one. But we all need a helping hand when things get too much. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help when you need it. This is where that support group also comes in handy. If you don’t ask or say anything, no one knows you’re struggling or feeling overwhelmed. Self-care is self-love I cannot stress this enough. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to take of yourself. Make time for self-care in your schedule. And if you don’t have a schedule you better get to it. As a mom, you take of everyone, the house, furry ones and the whole world if you could. It’s easy to feel depleted and exhausted. You need to find time to rejuvenate and re-energize yourself. No mom is like you You are unique. And the way you parent is just as unique. Motherhood is different to everyone. The experiences are different from one mom to another. The journey is complex and chaotic at times, but motherhood is beautiful. Don’t try to fit in to the perfect mother mold or what you see on social media. Enjoy your journey and be your best. Like only you can! Playtime is a great getaway Playtime with the kids can be a great way to escape the hustle and bustle. Bring out your inner child and bond with your kids at the same time. They will love seeing you play and have fun. Give them chores Sometimes we have mom guilt because we don’t get everything on our to-do lists done. I’m not a fan of lists, by the way, hence I use a detailed schedule. You can be supermom and still not do everything on your own. This is a perfect way to get the whole family involved in the upkeep of the home and sharing responsibilities. It will give you more time to get other things done like getting more self-care and downtime in. Gratitude journal A gratitude journal is a great way to express all the things you are grateful for. It brings out awareness to your environment and a sense of appreciation. You will also realize just how many things are going great. Go back to your journal and read older entries if you can’t write anything. Don’t let a day go by without a bit of gratitude. You can even have a weekly family gratitude session where everyone shares what they’re grateful for. Believe it or not, mom always makes it on the list. How amazing is that? Eat that mom guilt! Wrapping up So, whether you feel like the world’s best mom most of the time or suffer from mom guilt now and then. Be sure to remind yourself what a great job you’re doing. It’s not always rosy, but the journey is worth it. Kids are a blessing and a joy. Doing your best is all you can do. I hope you’ll find these tips helpful in your motherhood journey. You’re the BEST, mom. Love, Everyday Ntha Sharing is caring

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7 Sure Ways to Improve Communication with your Children

nmasipa — Wed, 22 Jul 2020 11:48:07 +0000

Communication with your children can be easier if you know how to effectively engage in open and honest conversation. Children have their personality and way of communication. As parents, you may find yourself at constant loggerheads with your child. Whether it’s your two-year-old, 9-year-old or 15-year-old. The level of communication changes at every stage of child development. You as a parent will also need to adapt to those developmental stage’s your child goes through and communicate accordingly. The way you relate to your child is very important. Those formative years are especially crucial. Communication is key in any relationship, including the relationship with your children. Here are ways to effectively encourage communication with your children. All the factors below are linked and intertwined. Be willing You must want to talk with your children. This may be difficult if you’re more closed off as a person. Communication must come from a sincere and genuine place. You must want to know what’s going in your children’s lives and be willing to share some parts of your life. Effective communication takes practice. You need to know your child beyond their favourite food and toy. You need to be more intentional with your style of communication. This is where you find out what works for you and what doesn’t Communicate lovingly You love your kids, that’s a given. But your love must show through the way you communicate. It’s important to communicate in a loving and caring manner. You can be strict and stern but loving at the same time. Be tender and gentle when you speak. Listen attentively and respond accordingly. Nurture your kids through conversation. Understand their conversation style Communication is not just about talking and getting your points across. It’s about actively listening to what your child is saying. It’s also more than just words. You need to understand non-verbal communication. Take time to learn your child’s communication style. Sometimes your child may not want to talk when you want to. Be understanding of their feelings and respect their space. Know when it’s best to have serious conversations and when to keep it light. Understand what certain body language means to them and be there for them. Come down to their level You may have heard that ‘you are your child’s parent, not their friend’. So how do you come down to their level? You guessed it! By being their friend. There is nothing wrong with being your child’s frined. And it certainly does not make you less than a parent. It might have been many years back, but you were once your child’s age. Try to think back to how your parents talked to you and how it made you feel. Be relatable and let them know you once were at their developmental stage. Talk to and with your children not at them. Give them respect and it will be easier for them to reciprocate. Try sitting down and maintain level eye contact. Towering over them makes them feel inferior. You are not boss over them but their guide and confidant. Be age-appropriate Don’t overly share too much information that they won’t be able to process. Be appropriate for your children. When you talk with your kids share enough for them to understand and also be able to ask questions. Answer their questions with their age in mind. When kids ask questions, answer them honestly. Take into consideration their developmental stage as well as what they may be learning from school or peers. Sometimes we think our kids aren’t ready to talk about subjects like sex, but if they’re already asking about it, it’s time to talk about it. Yes, they learn about it in school, but you need to know what they think about it too. The bees and the bird’s style doesn’t cut it anymore. Death and divorce are also subjects we shy away from. But find ways to talk about things so that they understand and can know the reality of the matter. Be open-minded Open communication with your children is important. Be frank with your kids and let them in on what’s going on. Ask them what’s going in their lives. Encourage them to be open with you. Create a safe and inviting environment for them to want to share their thoughts and feelings. Hiding things that will affect the kids is mostly to protect our feelings and not what’s best for them. Sometimes being open may be hard and painful but it will deepen your relationship with your kids. They often already have an idea of what’s going on anyway. Trust your kids Trust and communication go hand in hand. Believe that your children are able to handle the truth. Don’t break their trust when they open up to you and share sensitive or private information. As long as it does not endanger them or others. Let them know if you are obliged to report details about what they told you if it must be. Also, ask for their permission to share what they may have told you in private if it will be a good lesson for others, but reassure them that you will maintain their privacy and anonymity if they so wish. Some conversations should not make it to the catch-up lunch with your girls. Be a haven for your kids to talk to and listen to. Let them know that you trust them and that they can trust you. Trust is gained, earned and maintained. Do that and you will have confidants for life. My mom is my best friend. She is the first person I talk to about things I can’t share with my girlfriends or cousins or sister. I know she has my back no matter what. Lead by example Action speaks louder than words. Communication goes beyond words. Watch how you act with and around your kids. Sometimes you may wonder why they don’t listen to you. Maybe their watching you and doing what you do. Kids are very impressionable, especially in their infant and toddler years. Set the right foundation. Lead by example. Pin it for later In conclusion Don’t be judgemental or all-knowing. There is a lot you can learn from your kids. Every situation is unique. You might have experienced similar things but in different ways. The way we process and handle things is also different from how our children will. Don’t impose your thoughts or ideas on your kids. They are not YOU. This will cause them to withdraw as they will feel like they have no voice. Engage and be present. Communication a two-way street. Open up the channels of communication with your children. Listen, talk and act. Please share how you maintain communication with your kids below. Love, Everyday Ntha Sharing is caring

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