Mom guilt is real, but it can be overcome. Motherhood is one of the most fulfilling jobs in the world. However, it is also one filled with overwhelm, guilt and all kinds of fears.
I often wish there was a perfect motherhood book. There isn’t. Motherhood is a journey of mistakes, lessons and a lot of love and patience. No two mothers or children are the same.
A baby changes everything. A lesson I learnt early on in my motherhood journey. It starts with pregnancy and is never-ending. As a mother, you will often be filled with doubt of whether you are doing a good job or giving your little one the best.Mom guilt can be overcome! Click To Tweet
There is NO PERFECT MOTHER!
I just thought I should clear that up and get it out of the way. Once those feelings of inadequacy start creeping in, you find yourself asking all sorts of questions.
Am I good enough?
Will my baby turn out to be a good person?
Am I cut out to be a mom?
Those feelings and questions are normal. Shew! You just need a way to get out of the slump when it gets to you.
Motherhood comes with a lot of responsibilities and can be especially daunting for first-time moms. All you want is the best for your child.
Honestly, if you’re feeding them, clothing them, caring and giving them your time. You’re doing a great job. That’s all babies need. The rest grows on you.
It’s not all doom and gloom. You don’t have to beat yourself up each time something goes wrong. That’s what makes it interesting.
Motherhood is about learning
You will learn to trust yourself more as your children grow. It’s all about learning as you go and grow through the lessons.
Mothers working a full-time job may experience mom guilt more often than stay at home moms. Less time spent with the children does not mean you’re less of a mother or neglecting any responsibility.
Make whatever time you get to spend with your child meaningful and cherish those moments. I used to feel guilty about missing my baby’s biggest milestones; teething, first steps and potty training her.
It took a while for me to fully let go of being the perfect mother and embrace what was. It was a joy seeing her grow and reach those milestones. And when I got to see her it was as though it was the very first time.
Kids have a subtle yet adorable way of reassuring you.
I want to share some great reminders and tips you can use to overcome the mom guilt. It can rob you of being fully present in your children’s lives and making lasting memories with them.
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Great tips to overcome mom guilt
Positive affirmations are great for building your morale and self-confidence in your motherhood role.
Remind yourself that you are great and amazing. You are enough. You are worthy. No one can be a better mom to your kids than you. Yes, You.
You are doing a great job
You may not always get it right and that’s ok. Its how you learn to get it right for you and your kids. Your love and care are enough.
Those best mom in the world handmade cards mean a lot to your kids. Your kids may not always tell you, but they think you rock!
It takes a village to raise a child. Having a strong support structure is invaluable. Having other moms for support can lighten your load, even if it’s just letting off some steam.
A support group is great because it gives you a sense of belonging and you don’t feel so alone. It’s encouraging to know that you are not the only one going through the motions. You can learn and share great tips and remedies when needed.
Talk with your kids
Children are smarter than we think. They can sense when you’re not okay or when something is wrong. Trust them enough to let them know what’s going on in your life.
Share your thoughts and feelings with them in an age-appropriate way. I share great ways to improve communication with your kids in this blog post.
What goes on in your life affects them too. They will even try to cheer you up with some hugs and kisses. That always warms my heart and she’s only two.
Ask for help
You can only get what you need and want by asking. This is a hard one. But we all need a helping hand when things get too much. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help when you need it.
This is where that support group also comes in handy. If you don’t ask or say anything, no one knows you’re struggling or feeling overwhelmed.
Self-care is self-love
I cannot stress this enough. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to take of yourself. Make time for self-care in your schedule. And if you don’t have a schedule you better get to it.
As a mom, you take of everyone, the house, furry ones and the whole world if you could. It’s easy to feel depleted and exhausted. You need to find time to rejuvenate and re-energize yourself.
No mom is like you
You are unique. And the way you parent is just as unique.
Motherhood is different to everyone. The experiences are different from one mom to another. The journey is complex and chaotic at times, but motherhood is beautiful.
Don’t try to fit in to the perfect mother mold or what you see on social media. Enjoy your journey and be your best. Like only you can!
Playtime is a great getaway
Playtime with the kids can be a great way to escape the hustle and bustle. Bring out your inner child and bond with your kids at the same time. They will love seeing you play and have fun.
Give them chores
Sometimes we have mom guilt because we don’t get everything on our to-do lists done. I’m not a fan of lists, by the way, hence I use a detailed schedule. You can be supermom and still not do everything on your own.
This is a perfect way to get the whole family involved in the upkeep of the home and sharing responsibilities. It will give you more time to get other things done like getting more self-care and downtime in.
A gratitude journal is a great way to express all the things you are grateful for. It brings out awareness to your environment and a sense of appreciation. You will also realize just how many things are going great.
Go back to your journal and read older entries if you can’t write anything. Don’t let a day go by without a bit of gratitude.
You can even have a weekly family gratitude session where everyone shares what they’re grateful for. Believe it or not, mom always makes it on the list. How amazing is that? Eat that mom guilt!
So, whether you feel like the world’s best mom most of the time or suffer from mom guilt now and then. Be sure to remind yourself what a great job you’re doing. It’s not always rosy, but the journey is worth it.
Kids are a blessing and a joy. Doing your best is all you can do.
I hope you’ll find these tips helpful in your motherhood journey.
You’re the BEST, mom.
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