I thought it would be nice to write a post about things I’ve learnt in my 27 years of life, as I turn 27 this year. These are things that I know for sure; things that I’m still learning; that I have seen or experienced through other people; things that have helped me grow and are continuously shaping me into the person that I am and into the person that I want to become.
This is going to be a rather long post. So, I’m only sharing 13 things in part 1 and the rest will follow in part 2.
1. Fear is a choice
Fear is normal. It’s choosing to stay in fear and let it consume you that is damaging. This coming from an arachnophobe. I am working on it, trust me. You can overcome your phobia like any other fear.
Our brains don’t like change. As a result, fear is a mechanism our brains use to keep us safe within our space of what we know; accustomed to and what we are comfortable with. Fear comes with stress, anxiety and self-doubt and brings about confusion.
It’s important not to let fear hold you back from anything in life. It hinders confidence and often stops you from grabbing opportunities with both hands by seizing the moment and living life to the fullest. I have learnt that beyond my fear lies my full potential and just being the best me I could ever be.
2. You can’t please everyone
That is a fact and I learnt to stop a while ago. It often comes with selling yourself short and robbing yourself of truly living your life according to your standards; according to your worth, your principals and your values.
Everyone Is Different. Everyone is guided by different life principals. They have different value systems and if you worked to please everyone you will fall short and you will find that you are becoming something you are not.
As people, we have an incline to want to be everyone’s go-to person for everything. We sometimes feel the need to be the shoulder for everyone to cry on and be liked by everyone. Not possible.
There’s a Bible verse I love that says you need to live in peace with everyone and I think I’ve come to understand what peace is in that context. You can have peace amidst the storm in your life and that comes from a place of knowing and understanding that every circumstance is but a life lesson.
Know yourself and grow in that space to be a person that can be cordial, courteous and kind. Understand that life has ups and downs just as well as there are nice and mean people. So, it’s about finding a balance between setting boundaries for what you will accept from people in your space and life and making the best of whatever life throws at you.
So yeah, people-pleasing is overrated but being kind and generous and loving and giving are qualities to enhance regardless of what people think about you.
3. Love without boundaries
This is a hard one for me. I believe in love, however, love in merely human terms is tainted with imperfection and human tendencies that take away from the core and essence of what love is.
It is not a fairy-tale butterfly feeling. Love comes with sacrifice, compromise and putting others before you without expectations. True love is freeing.
The love that is described in 1st Corinthians chapter 13, love that withstands and surpasses all. That’s the kind of love I pray for and strive for each and every day.
Get a glimpse of that love and love to share that love. Love isn’t just a word it’s an expression fulfilled by action; it’s a lifestyle. Having my daughter just over two years ago opened me up to realise that love is real. Love exists in a way that you are willing to give all of you just to make someone smile.
4. Never give up
I’ve almost given up sometimes and had to be woken up by the reality that it’s not over as long as you’ve got breath in you. You have got to keep it moving.
Giving up is not an option and every time I feel like it’s not worth it; I go back to why I started in the first place or why did I even invest in whatever it is that I’m doing. That is enough to keep me growing and going.
When you give up you are merely saying ‘I’m not worth it’. And those are words that I’m continuously removing from my vocabulary. Sometimes it’s hard but you need to constantly remind yourself that ‘you can’ because you are worth it.
Failure is just a lesson. It’s an opportunity to try something different. Something new.
It’s a grain of wisdom and knowledge of knowing what works and doesn’t work. So, take failure as the polishing of silver; as a refinement of gold in your life and tap into that inner source.
When in doubt, repeat: ‘I know I can because I’m worth it and I’m gonna do it and keep it moving.’Don't live with regrets Click To Tweet
5. You are not your Mistakes
I’ve made so many mistakes and will probably still make more mistakes. Show me somebody who has not made a mistake in their life and I’ll show you someone who hasn’t lived.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean be foolish and let loose, living recklessly. Being alive and living are not the same. What I’ve learnt about mistakes is that they are inevitable when you try new things and give life a chance.
It’s about seeing the glass as half full and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Mistakes are lesson steps in the process of finding and living your purpose. Living life purposefully and in the journey of success will lead to some mistakes. However, make sure that you grow from them.
6. Nothing is permanent
That is evident when you lose somebody near and dear to you. Nothing under the sun is permanent and death is a cruel, harsh reminder of that. So, it is important to savour the moment and to appreciate the people in your life.
When you understand the meaning of life, you find a purpose that excites, revitalizes and energizes you. It breathes new life into you. Don’t live for a past that does nothing for you but keep you stuck in a rut. Where you cannot move on or progress, where you cannot receive anything new because you are full of old bitterness.
The sentiment of old inhibitions and walls and fences guarding you will fade. That place where nothing new and beautiful can enter your life. Whatever hurts, struggles or circumstances you may face, they are not permanent. Failure is not permanent. They are not definitive of your life, future and destiny. So, find something new today; nothing under the sun is permanent.
7. Success is a journey
Success is a journey, not a destination. It’s not a once-off, been there done that kind of a scenario. Success means continuously evolving, learning and growing and understanding that mere possessions and things do not equate to success.
It is about a holistic balanced life. A life that is full of love and experience. Success is vast and multifaceted, it is spiritual; financial; social; emotional; mental; behavioural; career-wise and so much more.
Whatever it means to you, keep moving forward. Find what works for you and don’t be hard on yourself.
8. Time is essential
Our entire lives are measured in time. When time is up, there is no more chance to do or say anything. Time is a precious commodity that we often take for granted.
I’ve learnt that time wasted can never be regained and leads to regret. There comes a point where you have to be real with yourself. Ask yourself those hard questions. Don’t live life with any regrets.
- Are you maximizing your time?
- What could you have achieved if you used your time more wisely?
- Is time important to you?
- How can you use time more effectively?
With that being said. It’s not too late to do something about it. Nothing comes from living in the past. You have now and the future to work on. Make the best of the opportunities you still have.
Make a conscious decision to come through for yourself in every way. Plan and schedule better. Be more organized and get things done.
This second is the youngest you’ll ever be!
9. Guard your relationships
We are social beings with a deep need for connection and reliability. Relationships are the pulse to our humanity. You need to nurture your relationship with yourself, family, friends, partner and colleagues.
Good relationships need to be invested in and nurtured. Your well being will thank you for it. We all need someone to count on and hear us out when we need it. Work on having healthy happy relationships with those around you.
And sometimes, relationships end. That’s ok. Some relationships are meant to be seasonal. Learn from them. Remember, to have a friend you first need to be a friend.
10. Letting GO is NOT Giving up
Letting go is letting grow. Sometimes we hold on to things that no longer serve us. That keeps us boxed in and afraid. Know when it’s time to let go of the past and all things which no longer grow you.
When you let go you allow yourself to see new things and experience life from different viewpoints. Letting go is accepting what is and seeing what lies beyond what was or could have been. It is taking a step to be in the present and fully aware.
When holding on is bringing more pain than good, it’s time to let it go. Don’t live in the shadows of the unknown. Free yourself.
11. Smiling is Good for your health
I can attest. I am a smiler by nature. Sometimes I allow situations and people to rob me of my smile, and it is the saddest thing ever (pun intended). It is not worth it. I find reasons to smile as often as I can.
Smiling not only boosts your mood but also cheers others up. That feeling when someone says you’ve brightened up their day is the best. Choose to smile. It’s really good for your health.
SMILE. Right now, just smile.
12. Prioritize, Prioritize, Prioritize
I’ve had an on/off relationship with this one. A planner and daily schedule are a lifesaver. It takes focus to prioritize. You need to know why you are doing a task and how important it is.
Don’t work from a hasty panic, urgent is not always important. Plan and organize your tasks. When you prioritize you maximize productivity and potential.
13. Being an Introvert is NOT bad
There is nothing wrong with you. Being an introvert doesn’t mean you hate people or are antisocial. Even introverts have extrovert traits. I like having a good time and going out, in short bouts. I always prefer alone time over anything.
Take this short quiz to learn if you are an introvert. Don’t hide away or make excuses for being more reserved. Try different things, you might actually enjoy them.
That was a lot from me. Fourteen more things I’ve learnt still to come. I can’t wait to share them with you. I hope you have enjoyed my life lessons part one and got to know a little more about me.
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