Letting go
Motivation,  Personal Development,  Wellness

Leave the Past where it Belongs: Letting go

A New Year is the ultimate new beginning.

It’s also a time for reflection. What will you take into the new year?

While you are focused on what you want to bring into your life in the coming year, it’s helpful to look at what you may need to release.

Let it Go

Life has its ups and downs; curves and smooth sailings. It takes a lot to move on from past hurts and mistakes that often hold us captive from living our best lives and fulfilling our purpose. 

They offer us learning opportunities often disguised as failures and regrets.

Sometimes we hold onto pain, guilt and shame because it is comfortable. It’s all we know, and we think our lives won’t be the same without them. There is a fear in letting go and heading into the unknown. In reality, those feelings have a tight grip on us that keeps us chained to the past.

We must accept things that have happened and make a conscious decision to move on and let it go. Letting go is a process. It starts with a choice. Choose today, to live and be the best version of yourself that you can be.

The potential to live a life free from past hurt, pain, shame and guilt is within each one of us. We need only realize and tap into it.

Letting go creates space for fresh beginnings: releasing you of what happened yesterday and enabling the doors of new opportunities to open today.

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7 Tips to letting go

Accept the things you cannot change

We cannot change the past or undo what has been done. Harbouring feelings from the past and dwelling on “what if”, “should’ve”, etc. will not change anything.

We only have this moment to live for; cherish it and make the most of it. The only thing you can change is what you choose to do in the present moment to make your future what you want it to be.

You are only responsible for YOUR actions

Stop thinking you can change other people and their behaviour. You are not responsible for anyone else’s actions but your own. Some things in life happen because it is how life was meant to unfold.

It is not your fault that people do the things they do, and you cannot live life blaming yourself for other people’s actions.

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What other people think about you is not your concern

Let go of trying to please other people. Like who you are first and don’t worry about what other people think of you. You can’t please everyone anyway. Don’t live for others and in the process forget who you are.

It’s ok to make mistakes

You are not really living unless you have made some mistakes, the key is to not repeat the same mistakes. It is not the end of the world to fall, as long as you rise from it and stand tall.

Mistakes are a part of life, that is bittersweet. Accept the past and its mistakes, acknowledge them, then learn and grow from them.

Cry it out

I do this a lot…and it has helped me in my moments of holding on to things that drag me down. Crying away your negative feelings is actually good for you. It is a great de-stressor. Don’t stay in the crying it out phase for too long though and wallow in self-pity.

You may also like: Getting unstuck and Living purposefully

Expect less

When you live with expectations of people and situations, you will find yourself often let down and disappointed. Things do not always work out as planned and that is fine, find a solution and keep things moving. The unexpected makes life interesting.

Learn to forgive

Forgive yourself and forgive others. Holding on to hurt and pain only causes you more harm. More often than not, the person who hurt you has forgotten and moved on while you hold on to that and harbour resentment. Forgiveness is more for you than anyone else, do it for your own peace.

I am consistently reminded to embrace the present and all it has to offer: an opportunity to begin again. No matter how much I may get off track on this journey of letting go, the present is always here to remind me that I don’t have to stay stuck on yesterday or worry about what will happen tomorrow.

When it comes to letting go, we have two choices; hold on to the past that will hold you down like an anchor of destruction or let the past be a trail and guide to a brighter future. Some relationships belong in the past, move on. Some friendships were never meant to last, let them go.

Often, we are held back from living up to our full potential by the past. Every day we have a choice to keep holding on just a little bit longer or conclude that today is the day we will finally let go.


Love, Everyday


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