Love,  Relationships

Red Flags to Look out for in a Relationship

A new relationship is fun and exciting. There is a lot to learn about each other but there are also red flags to look out for. It can be complicated so you need to be prepared for it.

Everyone has their ups and downs. We all have that list of what we’d like in the perfect partner. Sorry to tell you, the perfect partner does not exist. No one is perfect. Your relationship can only be as good as both parties make it.

The honeymoon phase is butterflies and roses. Your significant other seems to do no wrong. Or maybe you’re blinded by all the fancy gifts and outings that you miss key factors of who they really are.

It’s important to walk into a relationship eyes wide open. What are your deal breakers? What are theirs? Be accommodating but not to a point where you lose your essence and you can’t be true to yourself.

Relationships require sacrifice and compromise but also compatibility. Take your time in meeting and nurturing relations with someone you are compatible with, not just physically but holistically.

Do not change who you are for someone else and don’t try to change anyone else. The right person for you will not require you to go to those extremes. Be patient in finding your Mr. or miss right.

People don’t change after a year of meeting them, they either didn’t reveal their true nature or you were unaware of who they really are.

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7 Red flags in a relationship

These are the red flags to look out for in any relationship. Don’t ignore the signs of trouble when you see them, hoping that someone will change or things will get better.


A relationship is a partnership, or at least it should be. You should be able to rely on your partner and know you have each other’s backs. When someone can’t fulfil a promise or stick to their word multiple occasions, run for the hills.

You can’t rely on someone who can’t do what they said they would. They will leave you hanging when you need them most. Inconsistency will leave you feeling let down and not taken seriously.


If your partner is controlling, be wary. There is a thin line between being protective, overprotective, and controlling. No one has the right to control you. Or dictate what you should do, how you should do it and when.

If you have no say in anything, red flag alert.

Being in a relationship does not mean you have no say. It means you talk through things even if you don’t agree on some things.

There shouldn’t be force or pressure to do what your partner says. Of course, you will go the extra mile to make your partner happy, as long as it comes from a place of love and not out of fear.

Watch out if your partner wants you all to themselves. Isolating and keeping you from friends and family is not love.

Not on the same page

Everyone is different. Opposites attract for a reason. However, it’s also important that you share similar interests, principals, and values.

You should be in agreement with the things that matter.

It’s important to note how they treat people, their beliefs, how they communicate and behave.

Ask relevant questions; and be on the same page about having kids or not, roles and expectations, finances and family. These can cause major problems if they aren’t communicated.

Red flags

Poor communication

Are you constantly bickering and fighting? You can’t seem to agree on anything. Communication takes openness and willingness to learn each other’s traits and love language.

Communication is one of the main reasons relationships fail. However, it can be fixed.

If you are willing to listen attentively to what your partner is trying to say and ask if what you got out of it is what they meant, you will be on the right track. Arguments are mostly caused by misunderstanding.

Speak in a nonjudgmental, non-condescending manner and be mutually respectful with one another.

Withdrawal, silent treatment and lashing out are just some forms of poor communication that can be hindering your relationship.


Abuse can come in many forms. Sometimes it’s even disguised as love. It can be so subtle that you end up making excuses for the abuser.

Emotional, verbal. sexual and physical abuses are signs to turn away and never look back. No matter the circumstances, you don’t deserve to be violated in any way or form.

You may also like: Improve your Relationship by knowing your Love Langauge

Lack of trust

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Without it, a relationship is doomed. Hiding things from your partner and keeping secretes are a breach of trust.

Trust is not easily gained, especially in the early stages of a relationship or if you have had your trust broken in the past.

Honesty and transparency are key to building and maintaining trust.

Money problems

Money is among the highest reasons for divorce. However, money problems don’t start in marriage, they start right at the beginning of dating. Pay attention to the relationship your partner has with money.

You need to have open discussions around money matters. Your spending habits can be the cause of constant fighting. Money has security, stability and trust implications to it.

Wrapping up

Counselling, time to do fun things and having your own life outside of the relationship are just some ways you can improve your relationship..

Red flags don’t always mean the end of a relationship. But it better prepares you to know what signs to look out for and put a stop to it before it escalates. Trust your gut.

If something doesn’t feel right, there’s often trouble lurking.

I hope these red flags will help set boundaries in your relationship. You deserve love and respect.

Don’t settle for anything less.

What relationship red flags have you had to u-turn from in the past?

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  • Kimberlie

    I believe that relationship red flags should be a course taught in high school and college. It would be so beneficial.

  • hari

    these are seriously amazing tips.
    I love the money related section.
    yes, lack of honest communications related to money will seriously impact a relationship for sure.
    thank you very much for sharing!

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